Friday, November 27, 2009

A quiet house

A quiet house is a beautiful thing and I know I should be in bed, getting some much needed beauty sleep, but here I am, wide awake and enjoying doing whatever the heck I want to do. Right now, I am obviously blogging. The other night, I took advantage of the quiet to scrub my kitchen sink with bleach cleaner. Some nights I spend WAY too much time on Facebook and other nights I hopelessly search for ancestors and family trees on genealogy websites. I love this quiet. When no one is pawing at me, begging for a snack, tormenting their sister, asking to be read to, played with...well, you get the idea. I am so thankful for all of those things because all of those things may annoy me at times, but all I have to do is think back to the years I prayed to be a Mom. And here I am, a Mom, soaking in the silence.

I watched my four year old put diapers on some of her stuffed animals today, which, by the way, she is very good at. After a few minutes, I told her she was being a good Mommy and she told me, "It's hard work being a Mommy." Truer words have never been spoken. For all the joy that Motherhood brings, it brings enormous amounts of work that no human could ever finish. It brings guilt and self-doubt. Hurt and worry. And let's not even talk about stretch-marks and gray hairs! But, oh the joy is worth every worry line, every tear-stained pillow and callused knees from praying, once again, that God will give you the wisdom you need to just maybe, not screw 'em up. The joy of Olivia wrapping her arms around my neck to give me a big hug. The joy of Mia telling me how much she loves me. The joy I see in Sarah's eyes when she sees me and knows I am about to pick her up. The joy of just sitting with my girls in my lap, soaking up their warmth and scents, knowing that there will be a day all too soon when they no longer want to sit in Mommy's lap.

Here I am, a Mom, soaking up the silence suddenly wishing my girls weren't all sleeping soundly in their beds but instead, snuggled up with me talking too loud and irritating each other because Olivia's foot accidentally touched Mia's. Do you think I will remember this tomorrow when I am hoping for five minutes of quiet and threatening a time-out to the next person that even thinks about touching me?

Me either.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Here I go again

Few things irritate me more than hearing someone use negative adoption language. Now, I know a lot of folks are just ignorant on the topic. And that's fine! However, I always feel an overwhelming urge to slap them and then educate them in the error of their ways. For instance, I was recently talking to another Mom while our children were playing and the topic of adoption came up. I mentioned that we adopted our oldest daughter and have an open adoption. The mother's response???

"Oh, so she, like, sees her real Mom?"

I know what she meant. And I know she meant no harm. I'm a big girl and can take it. But what if my four year old would have been standing there? You know, the one that is already asking tough question about adoption? Thanks lady, you've just made my job a gazillion times harder. Now, I'm not totally stupid and know that I won't be able to shield her from everything, but it was another reminder that adoptive parents need to educate those around them. Which brings me to another aggravation....

I know what you are thinking. "What doesn't aggravate this woman???"

Not much! Anyway..............back to aggravation.

Adoptive parents that use negative adoption language blow my mind. It breaks my heart to hear someone say. "Oh, she's adopted." But to hear that child's parent say front of the child. Ugh!!! Don't get me wrong. Mia knows that we adopted her but she will NEVER hear us say, "She's adopted." I will not label her. Subtle difference, I know, but to children, it can make such a difference.

Totally side topic here - do you think I use commas too much???

Ok, back to adoption friendly language. Here is a quick run-down of those that really make me cringe.

Negative language vs. positive language

Real mother / Birth Mother *some have even started using the term "First Mother"
Gave up for adoption / Placed her child for adoption
your own child / biological child

That last one is a BIG one for me. Ever since getting pregnant with our 2nd daughter, I have gotten bombarded with, "What is like to have one of your own?" SO irritating!

I better end this post. I've gotta get my own child to bed and remember to pray for Mia's real Mom. :)

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

It's that time again

A time when my family and friends get even more annoyed with me. As if I am not a big enough adoption nut and advocate, I get to spend a whole month reminding those around me how important adoption is, and that God has called all of us to care for the orphans.

Happy Adoption Awareness Month, Y'all!!!