Here I go again

Few things irritate me more than hearing someone use negative adoption language. Now, I know a lot of folks are just ignorant on the topic. And that's fine! However, I always feel an overwhelming urge to slap them and then educate them in the error of their ways. For instance, I was recently talking to another Mom while our children were playing and the topic of adoption came up. I mentioned that we adopted our oldest daughter and have an open adoption. The mother's response???

"Oh, so she, like, sees her real Mom?"

I know what she meant. And I know she meant no harm. I'm a big girl and can take it. But what if my four year old would have been standing there? You know, the one that is already asking tough question about adoption? Thanks lady, you've just made my job a gazillion times harder. Now, I'm not totally stupid and know that I won't be able to shield her from everything, but it was another reminder that adoptive parents need to educate those around them. Which brings me to another aggravation....

I know what you are thinking. "What doesn't aggravate this woman???"

Not much! Anyway..............back to aggravation.

Adoptive parents that use negative adoption language blow my mind. It breaks my heart to hear someone say. "Oh, she's adopted." But to hear that child's parent say it...in front of the child. Ugh!!! Don't get me wrong. Mia knows that we adopted her but she will NEVER hear us say, "She's adopted." I will not label her. Subtle difference, I know, but to children, it can make such a difference.

Totally side topic here - do you think I use commas too much???

Ok, back to adoption friendly language. Here is a quick run-down of those that really make me cringe.

Negative language vs. positive language

Real mother / Birth Mother *some have even started using the term "First Mother"
Gave up for adoption / Placed her child for adoption
your own child / biological child

That last one is a BIG one for me. Ever since getting pregnant with our 2nd daughter, I have gotten bombarded with, "What is like to have one of your own?" SO irritating!

I better end this post. I've gotta get my own child to bed and remember to pray for Mia's real Mom. :)