I am reminded why I do this

Over the past few years, we have had a LOT of people ask us why we chose open adoption and why we continue to choose it. It's not always easy and it's not always the most natural thing to do, but we do it for our daughter. I was reminded of that while I watched last night's episode of "16 and Pregnant". The young Mom featured is 16 and pregnant, obviously, but was also adopted through a closed adoption. Now, we were told during one of our counseling/education sessions at Buckner that the rate of teen pregnancy for girls that were adopted is higher than those that were not. We saw this first hand one day when we started talking with a Mom and her teenage daughter. The mother had adopted her daughter through Buckner and was now helping her daughter make an adoption plan for her unborn baby. I bring all of this up because the young mother on last night's show kept saying something that really struck me. She talked about how this baby was the first blood relative she had ever had, and how could anyone ask her to give it up. Despite all the love and nurturing her adoptive family had given her, there was (and will always be) a void in her life that only her biological family can fill. It's a fact.

I remember being a little girl and even though I was not adopted, I never felt like I resembled anyone in my family. Then one day, I was looking through some old photographs and saw a picture of my Grandmother as a little girl. I was astonished at how much I resembled her and remember feeling such joy that I finally looked like someone in my family. Now, imagine that you NEVER have that. You always feel like an outsider, never really belonging. I don't want that for my daughter. I want her to always feel connected to us, but her biological family as well. I don't want her to make poor choices as a teenager to fill a void that I am incapable of filling.

Of course, I have NO idea what the future holds for Mia. Who knows if maintaining a relationship with her birth family will help, or hurt. I can only pray that I am doing what is right for her and our family.

And on a much happier note - today is Mia's "Gotcha" day. Four years ago today, we got to finalize her adoption and she legally became ours. What a happy day! For the first time this year, we are celebrating it with her because she is understanding more about adoption (i.e. she came out of A's tummy but her sisters came out of mine, etc.)and we want to make sure she knows that she is special in her own way.

"Gotcha" Day - 2006