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Thursday, September 18, 2008

I never thought...

You ever stop and think about where you are in life...where you have been...where you hope to be in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years? No, I am not having a midlife crisis. I just got to thinking about all of things that I thought would never happen. It started the other night when I caught a glimpse of my reflection in window at church. Good gravy (Mmmmm, gravy!!!!), when did I get fat? Of course, I know the answer to that question. It lies in between those parentheses. However, it got me to thinking about all the things I thought would never happen.

"I'll never be fat!!!!"
Ahhhh, famous last words of a genetically predisposed to being fat, girl that LOVES to eat and HATES exercise. God love her, my Mom tried to warn me. I come from a family, on both sides, of, ahem, big boned folks that would most likely put "eat" down as a hobby. I remember being a teenager, walking through the living room and Mom pointing out that I was starting to put on a few pounds. I would scoff and utter those words which now burn in my ears, "Ugh, I will never be fat." I was never size 2 skinny, and to be honest, never wanted to be. I had curves baby! I was super proud of my 36-28-36 dimensions. Little did I know that your metabolism slows down in your early 20s and only goes downhill from there. I should have listened to you Mom!!!

"Ewwwww! I'd never go out with him!"
Him, of course, being my husband. We've known each other for 18 years now and let me tell you, it was so not love at first sight. Of course, is there such a thing when you are 12 years old? He was self-prescribed nerd and I was way-too cool to hang with him. Sure, I could be his friend and be nice to him in band (ok, we were both nerds!), but like, talk to him in the hall...NOT!!!! Then came high school and all new issues. To say I loathed him would be putting it mildly. I seriously begged my older, crazy brother to beat him up at one point because he had made me so mad. For a solid year, I wanted NOTHING to do with him and prayed he would move away. Then came my junior year, his senior and I spent the first 6 weeks of school out with pneumonia. Well, I'll be darned if he didn't start being nice to me. Jerk!!! Like, I can't hate you if you are going to be all nice to me and say things like, "I've been praying for you." and "I'd be happy to help you get caught up on your assignments." I refuse to use a cliche here, but you can probably figure out how it turned out. Hmmmm??? Perhaps a future posting on our courtship.

"I'll never be a Mom"
That one was hard. All I had ever wanted in life was to get married and start popping out babies. I love babies, always have. My Mom tells me I used to try and take babies out of strollers when I was little. Mom would turn her back for one second, only to turn back around to a horrified Mother and little Jessica trying to hold the baby. So, when the babies didn't start popping out, I took it rather hard. Really hard. Of course, I am able to look back now and see God's hand in EVERYTHING and while I don't typically claim to understand the way God works, I do know that had I started popping out babies, I wouldn't have my Mia. And that thought is unimaginable.

"I'll never be pregnant"
This too was a hard one to swallow. Adopting Mia definitely filled that void of not being a Mother, but not having the whole pregnancy experience left me a little wanting. I tried to make peace with it, and on some levels, I truly believe I did. But there was always that bit of curiosity, wondering what it would be like. I still can't believe that God blessed me with Olivia. Being pregnant was miserable at times, but ohhhh so worth it.

"I'll never do THAT!"
There are oh so many things that could fall into this category.
"I will never count to three with my children." Did it! And it doesn't work!

"I could never go a day without showering." Do it frequently!

"I'd never use the TV as a babysitter for my child." Praise the Lord for PBS!

"Ugh, who gives Dr Pepper to a toddler?" Parents that really love their child and want to expose them to the best life has to offer!

"I'd never drive a minivan." After years of begging, I finally have my minivan and I LOVE it!!!

"I'd never dress my kids in second hand clothes." Let me tell you about some of latest finds at the JBF sale.

And my favorite...to my Mom. It was more of a making fun of her. I would catch her rubbing her chin upwards and knew she was searching for those stiff, dark hairs that only OLD women get. I would then, of course, mimic her with a grossly exaggerated expression. Well guess who now has those lovely old lady hairs??? And to repay me for my kindness, they are not just on my chin, but on my neck, face and chest. Yipppppeeee! Lesson here - don't ever make fun on your Mom!!!!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh! Another Erma Bombeck! And I forgive you for the "icky hair" thing! I love you more than you'll ever know.
Mom

Becky said...

I know what you mean on so much of this.
I have had no choice but to come to terms with the "I'll never be pregnant" one!