A difficult reminder

A friend from my MOPS group said goodbye to her 3 1/2 year old daughter today. A life was cut short for reasons that we will never understand. As horrible and tragic as this has been, it has been a reminder for me. We are not promised that our children will one day bury us. They can be taken from us so quickly, and then they are gone...forever. When I heard about the death of my friend's daughter late Friday evening, I could not stop my mind from going to that "what if it were my child" place? My daughter is practically the same age and I could not fathom the amount of pain that their family was now enduring. How do you move on from something like that? How do you breathe? Needless to say, I have been hugging my girls a lot more the past few days and trying really, really hard not be frustrated or impatient with them. Children are such precious gifts from the Lord, and for those of us that struggled to become Mommies and spent many nights crying because we thought it would never happen, sometimes we need little reminders to cherish them, even when they are throwing temper tantrums or not sleeping through the night.

145

I had my 15 week check-up with my OB yesterday. Not being able to feel the baby move yet and 4 weeks between doctor's visits give the brain lots of time to come up with "what if" scenarios. Anyway, my doctor came in and immediately grabbed the doppler to check the baby's heart rate, all the while, talking up a storm. It eased my anxiety until she couldn't find the heart beat. I'm sure it was only 30 seconds, but it seemed like 10 minutes. Finally, I heard the fast-paced swoosh and started to breathe again. Sweet relief!!!!! She said the baby was moving around a lot and that was the reason she couldn't get a good reading. Double good news! Just for fun, she compared the baby's heart rate yesterday of 145 to Olivia's at about the same time. Hers was 158. Of course, I know it's only a myth, but we are hoping the lower heart rate is another indication that this one is a boy. I go back in 4 weeks for another sono where we will hopefully find out for sure.