Three years ago today

Even as I am writing this, it's hard to believe that it has been three years. It was three years ago today that our social worker called me at work and said that there was a birth family with a baby due in two weeks. It was three years ago today that our lives would be changed forever.

That day started like any other day. Got up, got ready for work, dreaded going to work and longed for a day when my workday would consist of staying home with my own babies. Before I left the house, I knelt in the living room and prayed for the usual stuff - health and safety for my family, patience for me to deal with twelve one-year olds and oh, by the way God, could you please give us a baby soon???? We had been in the adoption process for well over year. Not waiting, mind you. But taking our sweet time getting all the required paperwork, training, etc. done. If it had been up to me, I would had it all completed in 24 hours. However, my hubby, being the brilliant man he is, knew it was my lifelong dream to be a stay-at-home Mom and knew that when we began the process, me quitting work would have made it impossible for us financially. So, he worked overtime and took the time to get our finances in better shape so that when the call did come, there would be no hesistation about me quitting. Anyway, we were in the last leg of approval, only lacking our last home visit from our social worker and then we would be put in the "book", and that was scheduled for the following week.

I finished up with an amen and headed to work. My day was pretty typical...twelve, crazy one years olds that needed to be fed, changed, entertained, redirected and most importantly, loved. Then, at about 11:15, the assistant director came in and said I had a phone call from Buckner. I just assumed this had something to do with our upcoming home visit and went to the office to take the call so I could actually hear and have a thought. (Remember, there were twelve one year olds in the room!!!) When I got to the phone, it wasn't our social worker on the phone, but the maternity caseworker, Rachel, telling me the impossible. There was a birth family in Amarillo that was due in TWO WEEKS!!!!. They came to the agency late in the pregnancy and after looking at all the waiting families, didn't feel a "match" with any of them. Rachel knew that while we weren't "approved" yet, we would be by the due date and wanted to know if she could show them our profile. There were some issues and red-flags regarding this birth family, so I told her I would have to call Evan and let her know. I got off the phone and started bawling. Partly because I could not believe everything I had just been told, and partly because I KNEW what Evan's response would be when I told him everything the social worker had told me. I pulled myself together to call Evan at work to relay the information and see what he thought. Of course, his immediate response was, "No way!" However, he told me that he would pray about it. I spent my lunchbreak talking with my coworkers/friends, reading my Bible I just happened to take with me that day :) and praying. Evan called me back and said that he could not concentrate at work and was headed home. I couldn't concentrate either but did not have that flexibility!!! When I was finally able to get home from work, we had a LOT of talking and praying to do. We had a lot to consider and Evan did not want to jump feet first into the first situation thrown our way if it did not feel right. Of course, I would have said yes immediately, but knew he would take his sweet time thinking and praying. After spending the evening and into the night discussing, we decided that there was no harm in having our profile shown to the prospective birth family. If it wasn't meant to be, God could still close the door. But if we were not even open to showing our profile, would we be closing the door for God to do something amazing?

We called the social worker first thing the next morning and told her that we were ok with our profile being shown. She was planning on flying to Amarillo that Saturday to do some counseling with couple and wanted to know if we could get together more pictures to take and show them. (Those that have worked with Buckner know they give you very little room for pictures on your initial profile!) We agreed and she said she would fax us the information they had on the birth parents and baby. Our social worker, Carol, got in touch with us and said on the off-chance that the birth family would like us and want to meet us, we would need to be officially "approved" before we had a match meething. So, she moved our home visit up to Sunday. Like most going through the adoption process, we assumed we needed our house "white glove" clean and absolutely perfect. Soooo, on Saturday we went to required training at Buckner stoppping to get copies of pictures to send to Amarillo on the way. While Evan drove, I quickly labled and added descriptions to the pictures. Once at Buckner, we spoke with Rachel a little more and she said we needed to go ahead and make plans to head to Amarillo on the following Monday to meet the birth parents. We spent the rest of the day getting our house ready for the home visit with the help of our family, trying not to get our hopes up.

On Sunday, we had our home visit and while our social worker tried to keep it generic, it was hard because we already had a potential match. During the meeting, we found out that the birth mother was having a girl and that she and the birth father had already named her, Mia. Carol knew how strongly I felt about naming our child and told us that if this did turn out to be a match, that the birth parents were really in love with this name and wanted to talk to the prospective adoptive parents about keeping it as part of her name, somehow. As soon as we heard the name, we both fell in love with it. Up to this point, we had not been able to agree on a girl's name, but suddenly agreed that Mia was the most beautiful name we had ever heard. Carol was thrilled to hear this, but we made her promise to keep her lips sealed as we wanted to tell the birth parents ourselves. Once Carol left, we headed to Target to register, something Evan told me I could not do until we were officially "approved." After registering, we headed home to pack and PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!!! We stayed up well into the night, sitting in the room that we had set aside for our baby praying. Not just for the possibility of finally becoming parents, but for the health and safety of this baby named Mia, whether she was meant to be ours or not. Praying for the birth parents as we could not imagine the agony that they were going through. And praying for our meeting with them. We could not imagine anything more awkward!!!

To be continued......