Raise your hand if you have ever heard this. Now, smack yourself silly if you have ever had the audacity to utter this phrase! I hate it when people say this. It's painful. It stirs up old emotions that you THOUGHT you had made peace with. It implies that adopting will somehow cure your PCOS, endometriosis and defective uterus. Nevermind the fact that it RARELY happens!!!
It was because of this phrase that we dreaded telling people that we were pregnant even though we were thrilled beyond all belief. I'm not one to really care what people think or say, but I did not want to hear all the "I told you so" comments that I KNEW were going to be thrust my way. It's as if people were discounting Mia and her amazing adoption somehow. I know, that probably doesn't make sense but it's how it felt. And then I was met with something else, people trying to explain to me in an earthly way - a.k.a., no mention of God, why we were now pregnant. "Oh, you just needed to relax." "Your motherly instincts with Mia prompted your body to work just the right way." Blah, blah, blah! How about, God. Period.
When I look back at how both of our children came to be, I am in awe of God and HIS perfect timing. Only He knows the hows, whys and whens of our lives and when you get down to it, isn't that all that matters???
Now, repeat after me:
"I (state your name), will never, ever tell someone the BS line..."You know, as soon as you adopt, you will get pregnant." In addition, I will never, ever tell someone, "There's a crazy lady with the blogspot title 'The Jackson Four' that adopted and then got pregnant."
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Adopt and you will get pregnant!
Posted by Jessica at 9:34 PM
Labels: adoption, Infertility, pregnancy
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5 comments:
oh yes, we heard them all and we actually know folks that this has happened to - several families whose babies are only 10-11 months apart, BUT most of the time it doesn't happen - you are right God's timing and plan is awesome and perfect whatever it may be for each family - glad you got to experience both - you are doubly blessed!!!
We heard this all the time and it was very painful. As you said, I'd come to terms with the fact that I would not be pregnant and that God would not build our family that way. I will never forget someone at Buckner saying, in our first initial orientation, "Don't be here if you think adoption is the cure for infertility.". I tell people that all the time. Now, I know several couples this has happened to and as I approach 40, I don't want to be one of them! :o)
The "relax" one just kills me. Like we were never relaxed in 4 years. How lame! lol
Thanks for visiting me. I'll be back.
I have never told anyone this - the closest I have ever come was when I was at a garage sale and a woman was selling all her baby stuff and I told her, you know
this means you are going to get pregnant again.
But.
It does happen. And you are right, it is all God. The daughter of a dear friend of mine got pregnant after adopting two children from Kazakhstan and was having some hard emotions because she had finally gotten to where she didn't WANT to be pregnant, and here she was. But I am sure, just like how it works the other way - as soon as she held the baby that God had always planned for her to have, she praised Him for His crazy plan.
Hi there - stumbled upon your blog somehow and this applies exactly to us.. and now I am partly dreading telling certain people that we are pregnant b/c I KNOW I will hear this from them, ugh.. I now know that God wanted our first child to come through adoption and I choose to think that He healed me and wanted child #2 to come by birth.. We'll see for child #3, but we're pretty set on adoption in our hearts! Thank God so many of us are able to experience the beauty of building families differently.
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